Wednesday, December 17, 2014

A Doctors ignorance is not bliss

It has been too long since I have written, far too long.  I feel an enormous sense of responsibility to share knowledge with you my reader as well as my feelings about what is happening on this dark path. Lately there is so little to report it feels a senseless act to write anything. 

I will however backtrack..

I live in a very small town in North Carolina now having been displaced with my child from our home in Boston, it is affordable here.  
Given a choice, we would be home in Boston with better Hospitals and Medical Specialists a bus ride away. I am starting to realize where I am really does matter for this puzzle will not be unraveled here. 
To say this is sobering would be a serious understatement I'm afraid.
My desperate fight to have my implants removed is being fought in vain here.  I am tired of being looked upon by the medical community as a hypochondriac as so many women before me with Implant Toxicity have complained.
Where do you go when the Doctors shake their heads behind your back?  Is that not where you go for help when you are ill?!

What does one do when they know the truth about their own body and nobody will listen?

So far the only professional that has listened and understood is a Doctor that specializes in my exact malady.  There is a Plastic Surgeon in Ga. that has made quite a name for herself "explanting" Toxic implants and after removing all toxic tissue, detoxing the whole patient.  These patients in overwhelming numbers go on to see all or most symptoms disappear in less than a years time.

The proper tests are run, the patient is prepared and the explantation surgery is completed.

Why am I not sitting in her office? There is no insurance that covers what began as cosmetic surgery whether it has become debilitating or it seems even, life threatening.

Even the beginning stages of kidney failure as I recently suffered through is not enough.

I am at a complete loss and am so very close to giving up what seems like a losing battle.  I spent hours laying in bed last night praying and thinking about how to proceed.

I am not and never have been a quitter in fact if anything I am notoriously tenacious and a fighter for what is right. 
 I am also realistic.. I do not have the eight thousand dollars to see the Ga. Doctor and it seems this leaves me in a never ending loop of tests, many of which are intrusive and painful.

Specialist after Specialist and yet the tests I have spoken of are out of the realm of normal tests and they are not being done.  Why would seem an obvious question so I will tell you what I believe the answer to be..  The Alpha MSH Test for mold is one my Doctor has never heard of along with the Test for Metals which is done on the hair root. Ego does come into play here of this I am sure as I watch the face of the Professional facing me when I bring them up.

After a sleepless night it seems there are only a few paths left me considering I live well below the poverty level and have no access to the clear choice as mentioned above.

Strength sometimes lies in letting go, I am thinking that is where I may be. 
So few resources leave me in an extremely vulnerable position I'm afraid. To get to the city, any city from where I live is costly and impossible and it seems the Doctors are as lost there as they are here in my small town.

It makes me cringe knowing these two tests and proper interpretation are my only hope and yet the reluctance on the Doctors part to educate one's self and get them done seem to be either too threatening or daunting to every Doctor I have seen.

I am fifty three years old and a mother of five, my youngest just turned twelve years old and given the current circumstances I will not live to see her graduate high school.  
This thought breaks what is left of my bruised and battered heart. She needs me and I want to be there for her. This child and I have been through a great deal since my husband passed away, when is enough enough..?

If not for her and my love for my children and grandchild, I would have given up by now. The battle has been incredibly difficult and for the first time I feel I may lose.

My symptoms have increased tremendously since I posted last, they have taken over and I am beaten down.

I mentioned that I came to the conclusion there are only a few choices left..  The other choice is to keep looking for a Doctor that will perform these tests. Surely there must be one out there that will not dismiss me as crazy because they don't know what to do.

For now I will pray.

In love and light,


If you are following my Blog you will notice the increased severity of the lesions across my chest and how rapidly they are spreading. I now have them across my back as well. They burn as if my skin is on fire.

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